Vow Renewal Attendant Duties


Details on what’s expected of vow renewal attendants

When you hear someone is planning a vow renewal, it’s common for the couple to ask special people in their lives to stand with them as they renew their vows. Typically, these are children, close friends, or relatives that have played a special role in supporting the couple during their marriage. The first thing on most people’s mind, when asked to be an attendant, is “what exactly is expected of me?”. Great news! Unlike being in a wedding party, being a vow renewal attendant shouldn’t come with a list of demanding and expensive expectations. After all, this is a celebration of the love between two adults and their commitment to one another. It’s more like a fancy anniversary party than a wedding, even though it may look like a wedding from the outside. Read on for a quick review of your duties.

  • You should wear what the couple requests. The couple should pay for your attire if asking you wear something specific – this includes tuxes, specific colors/styles of dresses, and specific accessories such as jewelry and shoes. It is common for couples to only request that you wear something nice from your existing wardrobe, such as a black cocktail dress or dark suit. If you would like to purchase something new to wear in this circumstance, you should bear the cost yourself.
  • Arrive on time for the ceremony and pictures. The couple should pay for any travel expenses for attendants that need to come from out of town or for attendance at a destination vow renewal. These travel expenses would include hotel and airfare. Generally, you pay for your own food and miscellaneous expenses since you’d have to eat and live anyways!
  • Before the ceremony, you may be asked to usher guests to their seats, direct guests to restroom facilities and the reception site, and be prepared to serve as information central.
  • During the ceremony, you will be expected to accompany the couple down the aisle and stand by their side as witness to their renewed commitment to their marriage.
  • During the reception you may wish to offer a toast to the couple. This toast should focus on a topic such as your long-standing relationship with them, best wishes for them, etc.
  • You do not need to purchase a gift for the couple. The only exception to this would be in the case where the vow renewal is being held for a couple’s 25th or 50th Gifts are not otherwise expected from any guest at a vow renewal.

Wow, how easy is this?

While you may have been surprised to read that you don’t have a long list of duties such as helping out with things such as preparations (addressing invites, making flower bouquets or arrangements, putting together favors, etc.) or coordinating other attendants, guests, or vendors, it’s perfectly appropriate to volunteer to help if you have the time. The key thing here is you’re not expected to do these things for the couple automatically. As adults, we all have countless obligations and aren’t always available to help others out no matter how much we would like to. Offer to lend a hand where you can, and the couple will surely be gracious and grateful for any assistance you offer.