Q. My father wasn’t present when I got married 20 yrs ago. We are now renewing our vows for our 20th anniversary. What suggestions do you have for the role of the father in this circumstance? I want to make it special; he has terminal cancer.

A. I’m so terribly sorry to hear your father has cancer, but it’s wonderful you have had the opportunity to make memories that you can both hold dear. Remember, this is your vow renewal, and there are no “rules” so feel free to include the special moments that he missed at your wedding. They are sure to be cherished memories for both of you, particularly given his condition.

If your father is up to escorting you, it would be sweet to have him walk you down the isle. Simply have all of your parents and children stand once your reach your husband and have your officiant say something to the effect of “who supports this couple in their continued commitment to each other”, and all of them can say “we do.”

If he isn’t up to the walk, you can use the rose ceremony to present your parents and children with roses. https://www.idostill.com/planning/ceremony-ideas/rose-presentation-ceremony.html

You can also celebrate the occasion with the classic father-daughter dance that he missed the first time around if he is up to it. Finally, be sure to have a photographer capture these special moments!